Here we go again: the tell-tale sick feeling in my stomach, the crying, the feelings of being completely trapped are surfacing once again.

I remember it from a long time ago, and the obvious course that I'm now on is so vivid in my head that I can't get away from it. I know what's coming and I'm sick to death of it! I worked so hard and ran so fast to get away from it, and now I'm smack in the middle of it again. This time has the potential to be worse though. This time I have more at stake, and the things working against me are more vile and evil then before because they don't have to work at being subtle.

These are the times when knowledge may not necessarily mean power. This might be the time when knowing too much only ends up hurting me, unless I can find a way to use what I know as a means of motivation and protection. I'm sick of games and have no desire to play, but sometimes life dictates actions that have to occur versus what we want to conduct.