It was gently suggested to me by a friend that I may be experiencing some post-partum depression symptoms. She may be right, but it could also be that this is the time of year when I used to cycle "then". I though I was well past "then" because I haven't had any problems to speak of for a long, long time. I was able to ditch the "little blue pills" after my son was born in 2002, and I haven't felt the need to get back on them again. Sure, I've had some "depressed times", but if you knew the type of garbage I had to deal with professionally and socially the past few years then you'd probably need a blue pill too, just to follow along!

At this point I'm feeling better about things. I made some decisions about what I'm going to do and, although I didn't follow through with 100% of my ideas it wasn't because I wasn't strong enough, it was more me being smart about my choices. So far: I've recommitted to my Faith, and I'm promising myself to move forward with my studies rather than fearing the changes that the results could bring. I'm also pledging to keep my heart centered in my family while remaining trusting and loyal to the select few who have shown me that they want to share in my life. I've resolved to be more careful who I spend my time/energy with, and I am trying to be good to myself by letting the things that hurt me and weigh me down go even though I'm afraid of the hurt I may feel when I do.

I know I need to work on a few things and it's going to take me a while before it becomes second nature. I have devised a plan for the most pressing issue that I have, so we'll see if I'm able to make things a bit easier on myself.

In other news:

Roo is doing well. The past few nights she hasn't slept well which, in turn, makes me not sleep well, but all-in-all she's such a wonderful baby! Today the boys went out so I spent the late morning studying and then, when she woke up, Roo and I hung out and played. She's smiling and cooing at me, and I swear she's trying to talk to me. She's a great listener, and I find that having her to talk to eases my soul a bit.

Ian is doing pretty well. He has a smart 5-year-old mouth on him, but he's loving and brilliant as always. Right now I'm working with him on addition of double-digit numbers and he's doing great! Reading is coming slowly, but he's desperate to get it!

I guess that's it. Oh, Sean and I are on a diet and it's going really well. I've lost 8.3 pound and an inch off my wasit and hips both. WooHoo!