Ahhhh.... Sean and Ian have left for the morning to go to Busch Gardens. I was going to clean or do laundry, but now I've decided to do my prenatal yoga and work on my jewelery. I'm going to put the stereo on to my classical music station and start making a necklace that's been on my mind for a few weeks now. And, I'm going to be uninterrupted! Other than my baby girl giving me heck with unrelenting kicking, it's going to be blissfully quiet.

Yesterday I was reminded why I do the job I do.

I was getting someone out of Jail yesterday to take him back to his placement. He is someone whom I violated and ultimately put in jail. We had three hearings about the situation and I testified at all of them, so I was a little nervous about how he'd be when I picked him up. He had responded appropriately to me in Court, but you just never know how people (especially unmedicated mentally ill people) will act at any given moment!

When the deputy brought him to the release area he smiled at me, held out his hand for me to shake, and said, "It's great to see you, Jenn. Thank you for coming to get me."

As we drove away he was quiet for a few minutes. I let him be, and he finally cleared his throat. "Jenn," he said,"I want you to know how much I appreciate all you've done for me. Standing beside you in Court was an honor. I heard you speaking in support of me, and I heard how you continued to speak even when the counter opinions were offered. You didn't back down and I admire your firm determination in my cause. I want you to know, God's honest truth, that if you ever need help in any way, if you ever need anything at all, you can come to me and I'd help you no matter what the cost."

Pregnancy hormones or not, I cried.

I made this last night.

The song I used was the song I heard as I pulled into the NICU parking lot when I went to the hospital by myself for the very first time.

Enjoy!

I check my email every morning before going to work. I don't check my work email (usually), but I always check my personal email because sometimes it's the only time I get to check it. Normally there isn't anything too important in there so I never worry that I'm going to be upset the rest of the day due to the content of my in-box.

Today was different. I was so pissed off by an email I got that my stomach turned itself into a knot and I could feel my shoulders getting tense. I quickly forwarded it to another friend of mine and then spent about 30 minutes drafting responses. I think I wrote about 10 drafts that I erased because I tend to run off at the mouth when I'm really mad, so I decided to go to work without responding at all.

I've thought about it on and off all day, but I still haven't come to any conclusions about what I want to say. Basically I could write a one line response and never hear from this person again, but I don't want to 'bite my nose to spite my face', nor do I want to trash something that I've been a part of for a long time. However; I am pissed off at what was said and how it was said, and the worst part about it is that it's normal behavior from this person.

I guess the question is: Do I want to hang on and continue to be a part of this, or should I step away?

Blah.

I've finally found a few minutes to myself! This week has been crazy busy with friends and family, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I finished "my part" of the taxes tonight. I can't believe we spent almost $5,000 in medical expenses last year! I didn't add up the mileage to and from all the appointments and to the pharmacy though because I don't think it will make a difference anyway.

I haven't been to Church in 3 weeks so I'm hoping to make it this Sunday. Sean is taking Ian to Busch Gardens on Sunday with a friend of his and his little boy, so I have the day to myself. I don't know if I want to hang out at home and enjoy the silence though! I have the HHPSI meeting later that afternoon so I'd hate to spend the day running from one event to the next... I'll have to think on that one.

Bug is doing really well! She was quiet for two days and it had be a little worried, but today she's moving around and giving me little kicks here and there. I had a horrible dream last night were my water broke at 24 weeks and no one at the doctor's office would call me back because they were busy discharging people from the hospital for the weekend. I woke up in a panic, checking the sheets and my shorts to see if my water really had broken. I spent the rest of the day in a sort of fog; I had three people tell me I looked like crap so I can only imagine how fantastic I appeared!

Saturday Sean's going out for a while so I'm going to be hanging out with Ian for the day by myself. I'm thinking of taking him to the Aquarium... but then again my brother's house is empty so I may just take advantage of that.