I'm beginning to get a complex. I have only seen about 3 of my friends since having Roo. In the beginning people were calling me all the time to check on us, but now there's nothing. I've been calling people periodically and leaving messages asking to get together, but I haven't gotten any calls in return.

Weird.

I did get a call from a friend today and we made some pretty awesome plans and I'm excited for what promises to be a spectacular day, but I'm wondering what's happened to everyone else. I'm beginning to think I did something wrong, even though I haven't been out of the house in a month.

I was told, when pregnant with Ian, that nothing will show you your true friends more than trauma and a new baby (hopefully these two things are not experienced at the same time, of course). I found out with Ian that was true... I guess I was just hoping for a different outcome this time.

March 21 - April 19

So far today I've dropped Ian off at school, gone to Einstein's Bagels, and to the grocery store. Now I have to pick up around the house and get the coffee going; I have company coming!

I'm so excited. I haven't seen any of my friends in a long time.

Tomorrow I'm swinging by my office to let them see Roo, so that should provide me with some excitement too. Hopefully after that I can meet up with another friend or two for coffee

I think Roo has reflux. I noticed that she has some of the symptoms Ian did, but she is no where near as bad as he was (I don't forsee hospitalization for her!). She has been fussy and awake a lot, I can hear a lot of nasal 'wetness' a few minutes into her feedings, she gets the hiccups frequently, and today she vomited so much that she soaked her bed through her sleep position pad, sheet, and into the mattress.

Right now she's asleep in her swing, and I think we'll be taking that into the bedroom tonight.

Sean is gone tonight and will be gone tomorrow afternoon through early Saturday morning, so I'm on my own. No big deal; hopefully I can get some more studying done. I did over an hour today, so that's a good start for me!

I'm feeling pretty isolated.

I adore having Roo home, and I really like being able to be with her all day. I also like having nothing but time on my hands! I plan things for Ian and me to do when he gets home from school... But I'm so tired that lately I've been napping and he plays on the computer! I've also been desperate to get out of the house, but it seems that everyone I know is too busy.

How does life get so crazy?

I made a pledge to myself a while back that I would never let life get in the way of what's important to me. So far so good, but it's getting a bit tougher since I'm exhausted all of the time. The past two nights Roo has been up every 1.5 hours to eat, and since Sean can't/won't do the night feedings, they're left for me to handle. I'm trying to nap in the mornings now since she sleeps a lot after 6am, study in the early afternoon, and then devote myself to Ian after I pick him up.

I feel guilty going back to bed so soon after coming back home from dropping Ian off though. I was trying to keep myself up so that I could visit with people but, like I said, it seems like that isn't going to matter right now. My guilt lies with my studying- I am almost 3 weeks behind at this point. Yikes!