Looks like Reilly won't be able to come home right now. I can't believe that, once again, I'm getting discharged without my baby!!!!

She was looking yellow to me yesterday but everyone told me I was paranoid... Well, they did her billi levels this morning and they're 19.4 so she's going to have to stay. Of course if it was going to be anything, this is what I'd want to have to deal with, but COME ON!!!! I'm frustrated that I'm going to have to supplement with formula (which is of course not a big deal, but I was excited to be able to exclusively breast feed her after the fiasco with Ian in the NICU, and that this was probably caused by me having O- blood and she having A+. Once again my body has to screw something up!!!!

I can't stop crying. My cell phone is dead so I can't even get anyone's number off of it so I can vent to my friends.

And I feel guilty about poor Ian. I called Sean a little bit ago to tell him to come down here since the Pediatrician is going to explain what all this means, and my mom didn't answer her phone when I called to ask if she'd go over there to sit with him. Sean called a family friend and she's going over, but Ian's asleep. This means that he's going to wake up and Daddy is going to be gone and he won't even have the comfort of my mom. It was bad enough on Friday when he was thinking that I was going to die... He isn't going to understand what happened!

My poor little boy is going to need therapy.

She was born at 7:36 pm weighing in at 7 lbs, 1 oz and is 19.5 inches long.

I was at work yesterday and was debating taking the heparin because I was feeling a bit off, but decided I was being paranoid and gave myself the shot. About 10 minutes after that I felt some fluid leaking and went to check it. There wasn't a lot but it did get on my pants, so I went back to my office and told my co-worker that I had to go home to change my pants before we went to see clients for the day. I started feeling progressively stranger the longer I spoke to her, so I told her to forget it and I was going home for the day. I got home and called the message line for the OB and left a message saying, "I'm sure I'm just being paranoid, but I had a little bit of leakage. I'm just concerned because of what happened with Ian..." I went to the bathroom and some more fluid leaked out, and I was suspicious because of the smell. I called Sean at work and told him I thought he needed to come home, and then I called the OB's emergency number. They told me to come right in.

It was confusing because when they tested the fluid with the strip test it came up positive for amniotic fluid, but when she checked it out under the microscope there was no ferning. They did the Amnisure test and that came up negative too, so they sent me for a biophysical u/s to check my fluid. That came back fine, so the doctor decided to check me one more time. As she was checking she suddenly jumped back and said, "Well, that's definitely your water!" When I looked at the floor I could see drippings all over it, so we knew it was time to head to the hospital (with a quick trip to the store to get some fruit!).

We got there at around 1pm and I got hooked up to the monitors. I was having irregular contractions so they decided to start me on Pitocin around 3ish to move things along (they were worried about the risk of infection). They started that and within about an hour I started having some stronger but still irregular contractions. I was about 4-5 centimeters and and 80% at this time, but Bug had moved back up and was at -4 station, so they decided to up the dose every 30 minutes. At that point I asked for the epi. They administered that but didn't do a good job the first or second time (lets just say I know where every nerve on the left side of my body is), but the third time they managed to get it right.

About a half-hour or so later the doctor came in and had to put an internal monitor in because they weren't able to read my contractions well. Once that was in the doctor checked my cervix and I was 6-7 cm, 90% effaced, and Bug was now at -1 so she left, only to return again in about 20 minutes. She told me she was "concerned" with Reilly's heart rate because it was starting to be very 'flat lined' and then descend when I had a contraction. They watched her a bit longer, then decided to put oxygen on me and add sugar to the IV. They watched her for about 30 minutes and then told me to prepare for a C-section because she was in distress.

At that point things started moving pretty fast. I was feeling a lot of pressure on my cervix (had been the whole time and they were timed with the contractions) so she checked me and I was 9cm, fully effaced, and Bug was just about ready. She told me that we were going to try to have the baby vaginally after all.

It was obvious she wanted the baby OUT ASAP so we started pushing right when I got to 10. No waiting around, LOL! I pushed for 4 sets of 3 pushes and she was out! It was painful and I actually screamed, "Reilly, get OUT!" twice, but it was well worth it. She was born at 7:36pm with the cord around her neck (which is why they think she was in distress), but he APGAR was 8-9 so she was perfect!

She had dark hair and the longest fingers and toes you've ever seen. In fact, her toes were the first things I noticed! She breastfed like a champ from the get-go, and she is a good sleeper. We were in our private room by 10:30pm, and she slept for 3 hour stretches.

This is the short version, believe it or not, so I'll update it when I have a minute (hahaha!).

I was at work and had some fluid leak onto my pants so I came home. I went to the bathroom and everything, and then when I stood up more came flowing out. It's slow right now, but when I smelled it (ew!) it had that sort of sulphate smell I remember from 5 years ago. It may be nothing (probably is nothing) but I want to be checked out to be sure!

I finally turned in my assignment for the medical transcription. I've had it done for about 3 weeks now, but I just kept reading over it, changing things, changing them back... That's my own horror story, LOL! I'll have stuff completed for weeks before I ever send it to where it needs to go. I even have an exam for one of my Holistic Childcare classes that's been done for, oh, about a year now, and I haven't sent that in either.

I'm sure there's some dark, psychological reason for that, but I'm too tired to try and figure it out right now.

I just submitted my request for an absentee ballot this morning. There is NO way I'm going to miss voting in this election!

Part of me can't wait until it's over and we can all start moving forward. I think I know who's going to win and I have a lot of fears about it (people don't seem to see the big picture, especially if the government is a majority rule), but I'd like to be able to start to 'plan' and adjust. That's the worst part of any situation, isn't it? The unknown?