Well.

I haven't been feeling we the past few days. Friday I was having contractions and by Sunday I was nauseous. Monday rolled around and I noticed Bug wasn't moving when she usually does, and that's when I started to worry. I was able to hold it together until today and I had pain/pressure when walking to the office. It didn't fade during the day and I didn't feel my little girl move at all.

I called the doctor at around 2pm and left the usual I-know-I'm-just-paranoid-BUT message, and Cindy (the best RN on the planet) called me back by 2:30pm. They were able to schedule me for 3pm with the doctor who, incidentally, was the one who admitted me to the hospital after my water broke at 33 weeks with Ian.

When I went in we were able to hear the heartbeat right away (thank God!) and I started to cry, of course. He decided to do an internal at that point, and then sent me down the hall for an ultrasound to check for movement. Apparently my past pre-term labor gives me license to bother everyone!

So, the deal is this: My cervix is long, but it's softening already! From this point on I have to be checked every Monday when I go in for my shot because he's "not happy" with the softening of the cervix this early. The good news is her heartbeat is steady at 128 BPM, her respiration rate is great, and she's measuring well (although ahead in some areas and behind in others), and she's moving fine. She's also changed position now from having her head by my right hip and her butt by my left, to her head by my left hip, butt to the right, spine down. She's moving into position, the little nut! Looks like no C-section though, since she's transverse now and not breech.

I'm saying a praying that she stays put for a few more weeks at the least!!!! I don't want to go through what we did with Ian...

I'm halfway done with my real estate! I had forgotten just how much I hate it, though. I really should have followed the instructor's advice and done the stupid thing right after getting my license since the information, of the most part, is the SAME!

Bug is moving and shaking like no body's business. Yesterday in Court she was kicking so hard that my name tag (which I ware on a lariat) was bouncing of my stomach. The attorney's were getting a kick out of that! It's amazing to think that something (er, someone) who's only about 9 inches long can create such havoc, LOL. Of course, then I start thinking things like, Oh my God there is an actual human being inside of me!!!! and start getting weirded out.

I love being pregnant. I love everything about it. I love the tiredness, the weight gain, the inability to breath... and I love knowing that Sean and I created a miracle. Every day my daughter gets closer to being here with us and, every day, I celebrate the fact that she's healthy and that she's thriving. I can't explain how blessed I feel!

I sometimes wonder if my two losses make this a more awe-inspiring experience or if I'd be this blissfully happy anyway. I can't help but think I'd be complaining about the daily Lovonex shots, weekly progesterone, the possibility of a C-section, the aches and pains, and the fact that I've seen a number on the scale I swore I'd never see if I hadn't been through what I have. Honestly, I haven't complained one day since getting that positive pregnancy test!

My mom called me yesterday to say that they wouldn't do her chemo treatment. They tested her blood and her hemoglobin was "way too low" to subject her body to the medication. So, now she has to go to the hospital today for a blood infusion. The upside is that her white blood cell count went up to a normal range (from .3!!!) and that they promised her she'd feel better after she received the red blood cells today.

So, the projected outlook of her finish date has changed from Halloween to Thanksgiving. But, that's still pretty good considering she only had surgery the beginning of the year!

I told her to let me know if she didn't think she could take the baby when she comes, but she is determined not to let this little one go to daycare so young. I admit I was thrilled to hear it because having her go to childcare would mean me taking Ian to school by 7:30am, driving 12 miles to baby's daycare (there's only one place I'd ever take her), another 13 miles to work, then bust my ass to drive 15 miles to get back here to get Ian around 2pm, then drive 12 miles to pick up baby, then turn around and drive another 12 miles home. Somehow the math just doesn't add up there!

Anyway: Today is my ultrasound to check the cyst on my little girl's brain. Scared? You bet! I'm going alone, so I'll have plenty of time to stew in my own fear, LOL! I'm also getting my Gestational Diabetes Test done which, I have been assured, I'm going to fail due to using Lovenox. Not a big deal to me, really. I mean, I'd be upset because of the harm it can cause Bug, but one more needle won't matter to me.

*****Edited to Add: Because I'm a geek, I did the math on my commute. Yearly, I would put 16,900 miles on my car. My car goes about 22 miles to the gallon, so if my math is correct (and, let's be honest here; I operate at a 3rd grade math level due to dyslexia) and gas stays at $4 a gallon (HA!) I would be spending over 3 grand in gas a year! And that's just for work and childcare, let alone if I ever want to take the damn car anywhere else in life. Add that to Bug's daycare, and it would total over 12 grand. Add that to "wear and tear" and we're looking at 14 grand. So, basically I'd be working for our health insurance. Wow, isn't that motivation?! *****

I'm awake for no other reason than "because". Sean got up to leave and I could see the sun beginning to creep into the sky, so I decided to get up and start some laundry.

What fun.

Yesterday was fun. We went to a party in Tarpon Springs which ended up being a lot bigger than we thought. We got there around around 1pm and stayed until 6:30pm; basically until my feet were so swollen they wouldn't even fit in my Tevas anymore. We came home and were going to leave again, but we were both too tired for the venture and decided to stay home. I worked on cleaning out the room-to-be-a-nursery some more, and today I plan on painting the ceiling.

I've had the motif for Bug's room all set in my mind for about a month now. I wanted to use the light purple paint we had left over from our bedroom and then use a sun/moon/castle border mid-level. They were a perfect color match, and I was going to then move in a sun and moon hutch and mirror in as well. I knew were the crib and changing table were going to go, where I was going to put the shelves... And then last night Sean decided that he wanted Bug to have "pink and girlie" stuff in her room! Now I have to switch what I was doing, and think pink?! Blah! Soooo not me.

He decided on a Winnie-the-Pooh border that I thought was cute and doable, and then he changed his mind to another Winne-the-Pooh that's so girlie and pink that I had to object.

 

Unfortunately he's stuck firm to the one above, so I guess we'll be going with that. In all honesty I'm not too upset because I'm so happy he wants to be involved and that he seems more and more excited that Bug is a girl, and this change in colors gives me more reason to find ways to be creative. In fact, I may move a lot of the stuff from Ian's room (his was decorated all Pooh) and just re-do his room.

Hmmmm.... That could be fun! Maybe an ocean theme since he loves fish so much? Maybe I could paint a mural in his room...

 

Yesterday I got to work at 5:30am and began the drive to Gainsville with my two coworkers. We got there at around 8:30am and saw clients until 12, then we drove to Jacksonville and saw another client. We got pulled over by a motorcycle cop for going 59mph in a 35mph zone so that added some excitement to the trip, LOL! We got home around 4:30pm, and I decided that is the last time I'm going to make that trip until after Bug arrives. I was so uncomfortable that I almost started to cry on the way back!

I did about 15 minutes of prenatal yoga when I got home and that helped a lot. Bug seemed to appreciate it and spend the whole time letting me know she was aware of what I was doing. She's quite the silly little girl! I'm getting to know her sleep cycles and what makes her excited; last Friday I rode the elevator at work 3 times in a row because she was having such a good time.

Today we have 2 parties to go to and then I'm going to work some more on the nursery. Sean leaves at 7am tomorrow so I'll be alone with Ian all day and all night, and I hope to get more work done. I want to start painting so I plan on getting him his own paintbrush and get him painting. We're going to replace the flooring so it won't matter if he drips, and I want him to feel as involved with this pregnancy as he can. He's already professed his love for Bug and wants to buy her presents all the time so I'm not too worried, but I also know there is no way to totally prepare him for the drastic changes to come!