Inner Ramblings

The Complete Story

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:53:09 -0500

Roo's ultrasound came back clear! She's fine! There's no sign of the mass anymore. I can't believe it!!!!!

After her scan the tech told us that we'd get the results in a few days. I couldn't do that; I knew I'd be a basket case during the holiday, so I told her that she had an appointment the next day with the doctor. I asked if I could pick everything up, and she told me that I could have the films but not the report because the report has to be given through the doctor. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I had gotten the report 2 times prior to this, LOL! However, by requesting the information I ended up screwing myself because she printed out the films and made a note to fax the report to the doctor. I knew they wouldn't include the report with the films if the films were done already! *sigh*

So, we came home. Roo napped and I worked, then at around 1pm I called the hospital to order the films in hopes that she hadn't gotten the packet together yet. The woman said, "They're here and ready. I guess they thought you were coming to get them this morning?" so I knew I was screwed. I decided to call the doctor's office and tell them the report was going to be coming in, and that I wanted a copy of it so I'd be in to pick it up after they called.

The nurse called me back in about 20 minutes and said she was confused. I told her the whole story (minus the part about ordering the films), and she said, "So what time is her appointment tomorrow?" I explained there was no appointment but I had told them there was, and they said that they'd fax the report. Then I told her that I wanted a copy for my records. The nurse was still confused, so I basically said I had the scan done, the report was going to be faxed, and when it was I was coming in to get a copy. She told me that she'd need an appointment, and I told her that I didn't have one, knew I wouldn't get one before the holiday, and that I would in to pick up the report the next day. She said she'd call me back.

They ended up calling the hospital and getting the report. The doctor looked it over for me, and the nurse called to tell me that it was CLEAR!!! No more mass!

I sat here and cried for a good 10 minutes after that call. All the guilty feelings I've had, all the fears, all the thoughts about cheating nature to get my miracle have finally dropped off my shoulders. I feel free!!!

Ready to Grow

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 21:45:01 -0400

We set up the hydroponic garden today! It was so great. It took hours, but it's going to be so worth it! Sean did most of the hard labor (of course), and then Ian and I decided what to plant and where to plant each seed. Roo watched from her exersaucer and appeared to find the whole experience very exciting.

We've planted lettuce (4 kinds), cucumbers, tomatoes, eggplant, zucchini, summer squash, watermelon, some sort of hybrid melon that's good for Florida weather, and something else that I can't remember right now, LOL! It's all set to be watered by a timer, so now all we have to do it wait for it to start growing.

I took some pictures of it so, once I get off my lazy butt and download them all, I'll put them here.

I'm Not Ugly... Usually.

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Fri, 22 May 2009 17:07:33 -0400

I'm wondering how may people can tell me I look "horrible". So far my mother, father, a family friend, some people in my office building, and my husband all think that I look one step away from death. That's lovely to hear!

Whatever It Takes

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Wed, 20 May 2009 16:35:31 -0400

I got Roo an appointement with the specialist tomorrow! I'm so excited! They asked if she had any vomiting... Sure thing. If it'll get her in quicker, I'll tell them anything they want to hear.

Sean's going to come with me, thank God. This is one time I could really use his support.

Demanding

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Tue, 19 May 2009 18:29:53 -0400

I called back at 4:40pm and I demanded to speak to someone. I got the head nurse. I explained that I had been told the results were in and the doctor was going to call me, but I still hadn't heard. She put me on hold f-o-r-e-v-e-r and, just when I thought I was going to throw up from nerves, she got back on the phone and told me she didn't see a report anywhere. She put me on hold again to pull her chart, came back, and told me she had no idea what I was talking about. She ended up calling the diagnostic center herself to get the report in. She told me she'd have the doctor call me back.

The doctor called back within 5 minutes and seemed a bit annoyed that I demanded an answer. He said he didn't know what I had been told that morning; he didn't have the results but they called for them since I called so much, LOL! Anyway, she has to see a pediatric urologist because she had a kidney stone-type thing in her right kidney. He isn't sure what's going on there because he felt a mass on her left side not her right, but regardless of that we have to call tomorrow to get her in to see this other doctor.

He told me not to "freak out". Yeah. Right.

Hospital Time

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Fri, 15 May 2009 19:08:45 -0400

Roo did fantastically! I was worried because her last meal was at 6am and she's used to eating at 6am, then again at 8am, then she takes a nap. This morning I fed her a TON of cereal and prunes, then took Ian to school. After that she actually fell asleep and managed to stay asleep for 2 whole hours. Her scan was at 10:30am so the time she spent awake was minimal.

During the scan she was great! Hardly moved at all for the entire 15 minutes, and then she was all smiles (but hungry, LOL!). The rest of the day I spent kissing her and hugging her... I just adore that little girl!

Schedule This

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Wed, 13 May 2009 22:36:30 -0400

We've been seeing an LMHC for Ian in order to get him diagnosed for a 504 plan. There is some confusion, however, regarding who has what paperwork and what actually has to be filled out for what reasons. Seeing as his IEP Exit meeting is scheduled for the 27th of this month, I really hope someone figures out what the hell I'm supposed to do. I can only ask the same questions to the same people so many times before I start getting bitchy, and I don't want to finish the year on a bad note. Seems like no one has a clear understanding of what has to happen.

This woman is great. Our first "challenge" was working on a bedtime routine because Ian seems to have a rough time settling in for the night. He's up and down at least 5 times, out in the livingroom asking questions and "giving one more hug and kiss," and generally being a pain in the ass. We've implemented a new nighttime routine with very little change in what we had been doing previously, and so far it's been wonderful! Each night he's in his bed at 8:15pm, lights and games off at 8:30pm, and he's sound asleep by 9pm with absolutely no leaving his room and no talking. It's been heaven! Granted it's only been 3 nights, but that's 3 more successful nights then I thought he'd have!

I'm having a tough time dealing with this situation regarding Roo. I'll be fine, but then I'll get this crushing panic that sets in and I feel like I can't breath. I was sitting on the couch today just looking at her, and I just kept repeating "How can something so perfect have something wrong?" I spent extra time cuddling her and playing with her today. She has had a fever on and off all day and didn't seem to be herself.

I've never wanted a weekend to be over so badly!

Moving Right Along

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Sat, 02 May 2009 07:58:56 -0400

I'm watching Roo roll her way around the living room. It's hysterical because I'll start her out on her mat and she'll roll over twice, flip herself around to face the other direction, and then push up into the crawling position, all while she has her fingers in her mouth.

She is SO close to crawling that it's exciting! She just figured out hour to roll from her stomach to her back now, and she's so proud of herself. Once she gets traction on her knee she's going to be off!!!

Ouch!

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:40:16 -0500

So after feeling like crap since Friday night, I finally called my OB. We talked a bit about what's going on, and she thinks I may have Mastitis. I have an appointment at 3pm for them to check me out and, in all actuality, I'm hoping that's what's wrong with me. I hate feeling so run down all the time and I hope that they'll be able to fix me with antibiotics. I haven't been sick in about 10 months, so I'm due I guess.

Maybe I'll be able to clean my house again!

Disappearing Act

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:24:59 -0500

I'm beginning to get a complex. I have only seen about 3 of my friends since having Roo. In the beginning people were calling me all the time to check on us, but now there's nothing. I've been calling people periodically and leaving messages asking to get together, but I haven't gotten any calls in return.

Weird.

I did get a call from a friend today and we made some pretty awesome plans and I'm excited for what promises to be a spectacular day, but I'm wondering what's happened to everyone else. I'm beginning to think I did something wrong, even though I haven't been out of the house in a month.

I was told, when pregnant with Ian, that nothing will show you your true friends more than trauma and a new baby (hopefully these two things are not experienced at the same time, of course). I found out with Ian that was true... I guess I was just hoping for a different outcome this time.