I've been neglecting my poor blog, but it's all for a good cause; I'm almost done with my certificate! I have only the final left to complete, and then I'm ready to start searching for jobs. I'm terrified, and my biggest problem is that I'm not sure exactly what I want to do and when I want to do it. I really wanted a relaxed schedule were I could "pick and choose" when I was going to work, but the more I investigate it doesn't seem like that's going to be a reality for a while. I don't mind working to get to that point, but I'm just not sure how I want to arrange my time to suit my family best.

Blah.

I had the strangest dream last night. I was in the middle of a ransacked area with acidic fluid raining down from bombs. I was able to get to a closet with the kids, and I had a raincoat on. I was hunched over them with the door closed, and I kept trying to keep the collar of the coat up over my neck so that the acid couldn't burn through my skin. The areas it touched were eating away at my flesh and left just the bare bone exposed, but I was able to keep them safe.

When I felt that there was enough time to get out of where I was I began to run. I kept thinking, "Where are we going to go? Where would the rest of the survivors go?" I suddenly realized that I would, of course, go to a Church! As I ran I couldn't help but think how strange it was that I would be going to a Church. Stranger still was the realization that, even those people who denounce God and say they don't believe, all seem to end up in a Church when there's a crisis.  Be it a horror movie plot, real-life war zones, times when people feel they've lost their way.... All souls seem to end up in some sort of religious setting.

The short version of this is that, in my dream, I ended up in a black fenced Churchyard with all of the other survivors and began planning our rebuilding of our lives. On the other side of this; I wonder where this dream came from. I understand the whole "shedding of the skin" part in light of the upcoming life-changes, but the other part is a kind of mystery to me.

On a side note, I find it interesting that tonight I mentioned how nervous I am about changing my whole life around and how terrified I am that I'm going to fail the family somehow. Sean just looked at me and started laughing. When I asked him what the hell that was all about, he said that he is just waiting until next year, because he's sure that I'll be "shedding this upcoming skin" some time soon. Apparently he views me as a snake; always changing and growing. Compliment, or insult?