"The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones."
– Chinese Proverb
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View Article  New Thoughts

I had an interesting conversation with my mother today. She was telling me about how hard it is to find mastectomy supplies and how she wished there was an actual store she could go to because, although there are a lot of places on line, she wants the ability to see and touch what's offered. She wants to try things on to see how they look and not be bothered with ordering something, trying it on, and then shipping it back if it isn't what she really wants. She was able to find an actual store in Clearwater that she's going to go to when she feels a bit better, but the whole thing got me thinking.

I wonder if there's a market out there? I would think that there are many, many women who are stressing out about what they're going to do after a mastectomy, what they're going to need, what they're going to do for the two weeks when they can't wear a bra, what clothing will look OK and not draw attention to their chest... Then I was thinking about getting information to women before the surgery even takes place so that they're aware of product, can even buy some things to take to the hospital with them so when they leave they feel somewhat comfortable, and they can have the name of a store where they know they can go to (locally) for what they need.

I'm going to have my brother put his Masters Degree to work for me, and then I'm going to get all of my USF things back out and set up an appointment with one of the business departments that offer free hour-long meetings to discuss your business ideas. I know that right now is not the best time to think about starting up a business, but I also know that it will take me a year or two to get everything researched, written up, and to find financing, so I guess I'd better start now anyway.

View Article  Random...

or not.

I've been sitting here for an hour working on my Declaration for my final Church class. I've been dragging my feet for two weeks, so today I decided to sit and get it done seeing as it's due tomorrow.

I got in a grove; it doesn't have to be a big paragraph or anything so I decided to start a poem:

God Is….

 

A guiding light burning bright,

 

Quiet strength leading me to what is right.

 

My son’s smile and deep brown eyes,

 

Emotions and feelings that taught me how to sympathize.

 

An outstretched hand at a fork in the road,

 

A constant companion that keeps my soul from growing cold.

 

Sunrise

 

and

 

Sunset

 

All the beautiful spirits I’m blessed to have met.

 

My fearless guide

 

My ever present love

 

A faith in life I’ll never be void of.

So, ok, it's cheesy, but I plan to revise it after I walk away for a bit. Anyway, back to the point: As I finished typing this and swear-to-God put the last period in place, the doorbell rang. It was a door-to-door solicitor so I contemplated not answering but then decided to because, well, he saw me, LOL! Strangely enough, he was a kid selling books about the Bible and how scripture relates to history and current issues! Since I'm reading the Bible right now and trying to figure some things out, I found this wildly exciting. Not only that, but they had a children's book which will be great for answering Ian's every growing questions about the Church and God. Of course I snatched them up because 1) the timing was just amazing, and 2) since I love to learn, why the heck not!

 

View Article  Wonderous Weekend

This has been one of the best weekends I've had in a long time. I've been so tired lately that all I've done is sleep, but this weekend has been action packed!

Friday night I went to a special Good Friday service with my friend. It was a fantastic hour filled with meditation, lessons, scripture, and prayer. I left there feeling as if I could tackle the world, like nothing could stand my way! I feel so rejuvenated and alive when ever I leave Church it's amazing... Anyway, after that we went to Olive Garden for dinner where we talked, laughed, and caught up with each others lives. I can't believe how much I've missed hanging out with her, but yet it also feels how no time at all has passed.

Saturday we (Ian and I) got up early and had breakfast together. From there we went to the Park to stake out some space for the annual Easter Party my mom's group does. It was so much fun! There wasn't a big turn out so the atmosphere was relaxed, and the kids played on the playground, in the sand, and kicked a ball around. We were there for hours and it felt as if no time passed at all before we were packing it up on account of the rain.

 

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After the party we went home and took a nap, and then we went down to Pinellas with Sean to eat at our favorite place, Quaker Steak and Lube. It wasn't quite the same without the beer, but it was still good!

Today Ian got up early and searched for all of the eggs the Easter Bunny left for him. He then went through his basket, and after that he and I sat around and did some Easter crafts together. Then I took him to my MILs house and I went to Easter Service which was, of course, amazing. Ian had a great time at his Mimi's house too- he caught his first fish! On our way home I went to Publix to buy beans for my green bean casserole, but I found out all Publix stores are closed on Easter. So, I had to go to another grocery store which, I swear, had every single person who did not speak English in it, and then we came home. I threw together the casserole, took a shower, and Ian and I headed over to my brother and SILs house for Easter dinner.

What a great night! Sean showed up right as were were getting ready to eat, and so did my Mom and Dad! My Mom looks wonderful; you'd never even know that she had surgery. She moves around well, is in great spirits, is even able to interact with the kids... She is amazing!

Now we're home and winding down for the night. I'm getting everything ready for the week ahead and am going to start working on my last class assignment. I also have to practice voice (I haven't done that in a long time!) for my lesson on Tuesday, and I have a few other things that need doing.

Today was really amazing. I spent a lot of time thinking about Rev. Nikki's words today... When I get a firm grasp on it I'll write about it, but not now.

View Article  People Are Strange

I just got off the phone with her. I do not deal with passive-aggressive people too well, but at least I can play the game.

My mom just called and she's done with her PET scan. She's on her way home and is going to breakfast with my Dad. She sounds good!

It's funny when you think you're important in people's lives and then find out that you really aren't. I know that the majority of people's stuff is monumental only to them, but there are a few moments and experiences that I would think people would remember about a friend or family member. Maybe I'm just different in that I have the memory of an elephant and keep important event dates in my head (not birthdays so much, but other one-time things), or maybe my life just isn't as interesting and important to people as I thought it was.

*shrug* I guess it doesn't matter. It's just another reason to keep stuff to myself and not share it; gives you less of a chance to be hurt. I've always been so open and trusting of people, but I'm learning to not give up so much of myself. I used to wonder how people kept so quiet about their lives, and now I think I've figured it out.

Good thing I like being alone.

View Article  Drama Mama

I cried the whole way in to work today. Leaving Ian at 7am was the last straw of these past few days and I felt safe enough to cry during my commute. Hey, it can't be any worse that that chick who what putting on her eyeliner the other day! I think the stress of my mother's health and upcoming surgery next week, my event tomorrow, this bitch at work, and the fact that my marriage is falling apart finally got to me.

This girl is going to send me over the edge (as you could tell from my earlier blog)! I almost sat her down the other day but decided to wait it out, but after today I'm about to drop her and then kick her in the teeth. My friend reminded me that I may want to speak to her before it gets to that point, LOL! It's a tough situation though because there's only two of us. We're supposed to be a team, but it's hard to be a team when someone is constantly stabbing you in the back.

I had forgotten how catty young women can be, especially when they feel threatened!

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