I hope this is not a prelude to my coming week!

I got up early because I have Court toady. I got Ian and myself all ready to leave; lunches packed, bedding together (for him, not me), totally dressed... and as I walked to the laundry room to turn off the light I tripped over his toy ambulance. If it hadn't been pushed up against the wall it probably would have created less of a disaster because it has wheels and moves, but it was stationary which caused my ankle to twist and the corner of the truck to dig into that annoyingly big vein by your ankle bone. OMG, it started to swell right away and poor Ian started freaking out... He got me his "ice pig" from the freezer and we put that on there for 10 minutes, but man does it still hurt! It's turning an interesting shade of light purple and green in one spot, my ankle bone is pretty much non-existent, and it hurts all the way through my sciatic nerve.

Lovely.

More painful still is that right now I'm on the couch watching "Blue's Clues" because I can't get up to get the remote... or the rest of my coffee! Magenta and Joe might be easier to take if I had some Pralines and Cream in my system.... But hey, I can find the silver lining here: At least it isn't "Yo Gabba-Gabba"!

I called in 2 hours late to work so I can avoid walking the 8 blocks to the Courthouse which I hated to do because I'm trying to save all my time for after Bug arrives, but it can't be helped I guess. I cringe every time I move so I can't imagine walking to my office building!

Edited to add: It is now 11am and I am burned OUT! I called my mom to see if she could take Ian to school but she didn't answer so I limped my way around and got him into the car by 8am. As I'm driving to the school she calls and, during our conversation, I realize I don't have my checkbook to pay the school. I turn around and go back, borrow a check from her, then drive to the school.

When I get there I realize that I forgot Ian's karate outfit and the 'special' things for their event today. Back home I go (another 30 minutes) and stop at the store on the way to get the 'special' things they need. I get home and limp in to get the outfit, realize I forgot the "most special" thing they requested, and hit the store again. Finally I drive back to his school (30 minutes) drop everything off, turn around and drive back (30 minutes) and am now sitting here about to blow my top and rip my foot off.

In between all of this I have had the phone to my ear continuously to set up Court dates for violations, deal with clients whom appear to have lost all senses of reality, speak to VERY CRANKY providers, and have managed to miss my Court hearing.

Please, oh please, can Monday be over yet?

I'm tired of trying to stay positive all the time. I was OK for a bit when I thought we had found a possible way for me to stay home, but it turns out Sean and my view on what was happening differed by quite a bit. So, I'm back to being forced to work. It was OK before because I love my job and the freedom, but I got some news today which changes everything.

I need a new job.

I left yesterday at 5:30am to get to the airport. I spent the day upstate working and got home at 9pm. I was expecting a nice relaxing evening, but instead I found myself increasingly frustrated with Sean.

Is it really too much to ask that he PAY ATTENTION to what's going on with his son? I don't ask him to cook, clean, or do any other household things (well, I've basically given up. I have a baseboard I've asked him to clean off since I can't be around bleach, and that was in November of 2005, and the wall that needs to be patched I've been asking about since February of 2006....), but occasionally I do need him to take care of Ian because I have to work.

I came home last night to Sean eating Ian's chicken nuggets that are for school. No big deal, except that Ian won't eat anything else, there are no more, and it's 9-freaking-thirty at night and I don't want to go to the store! Then I ask him were the white flowers are for Ian's science project for Wednesday (that was a whole other fight about actually getting the damn things) and he says, "Oh, I thought they were for today. I took them in already." THEN I ask where his karate outfit is so I can throw it in the wash, and he says, "I took that in too. Doesn't he have karate on Tuesdays?"

None of this would bother me too much except for the fact that we've had discussions about EVERY SINGLE ONE of those things numerous times! I'm so freakin' sick of being the only one who can seem to keep anything straight around here. It must be nice to work, come home, and sit on your ass the rest of the night because you know that what ever it is that needs to be done will be done! It would be one thing if I were a SAHM because it would be my job to get all that sort of stuff together, but I work full time too!

I'm so tired of fighting...

The scary part of my life begins when I start getting disgusted with people. I don't mean annoyed because, let's face it, our daily life is full of annoyances which seem to be brought about by people we come into contact with. By disgusted I mean the close-to-loathing, inability to converse with people in a mature manner, and a general lack of interest about anyone and their situations in life.

My husband owns his own business involving a trade that is in high demand because it involves a commodity that most people have but don't know how to fix. Unfortunately, it's an expensive trade for both those rendering it and those receiving for (and paying for!) it, and when you deal with money, it seems the true nature of people's personalities come out.

Today was such a day. It seems that some people feel that my husband making a living should be second to giving 'family and friends' special deals. It doesn't matter to them that the cost quoted is half of what other places would charge, or that he doesn't consider having people pay for some of the things that other places do. All people see is the bottom line, and they want special treatment. Every time! Today my husband actually ate over $300 because a "family friend" bitched about the cost of some items and he was so hurt that he decided to just readjust the final bill. Forget the fact that the total came out hundreds of dollars less than it should have; apparently that wasn't good enough. Not that it matters, but these are the same people who have millions of dollars at their disposal, who provide a professional service to our family and we don't get a discount... People just suck.

I check my email every morning before going to work. I don't check my work email (usually), but I always check my personal email because sometimes it's the only time I get to check it. Normally there isn't anything too important in there so I never worry that I'm going to be upset the rest of the day due to the content of my in-box.

Today was different. I was so pissed off by an email I got that my stomach turned itself into a knot and I could feel my shoulders getting tense. I quickly forwarded it to another friend of mine and then spent about 30 minutes drafting responses. I think I wrote about 10 drafts that I erased because I tend to run off at the mouth when I'm really mad, so I decided to go to work without responding at all.

I've thought about it on and off all day, but I still haven't come to any conclusions about what I want to say. Basically I could write a one line response and never hear from this person again, but I don't want to 'bite my nose to spite my face', nor do I want to trash something that I've been a part of for a long time. However; I am pissed off at what was said and how it was said, and the worst part about it is that it's normal behavior from this person.

I guess the question is: Do I want to hang on and continue to be a part of this, or should I step away?

Blah.