Inner Ramblings

Ripple Effect

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Fri, 27 May 2011 11:24:16 -0400

Time is in short supply these days. I'm kind of living for the "when they move" moment, because at this time I'm trying to keep myself available for any free moment my brother has before he leaves.

I am excited about moving into their house; in fact, we have our first "party" (i.e. open house, don't mind if we have no furniture though) scheduled for July 3rd! I've been looking at furniture and decorations for the kids' rooms online (not that I can afford anything, but I want to have a direction at least), and we have paint already. Sean doesn't want to "rush" moving in (meaning he wants to paint and stuff before we move our furniture. Duh.), so he's thinking I'm crazy for have a get-together so soon. I told him that I haven't exactly broadcast the information, so he can relax; it isn't set in stone! Anyway, point being, I'm looking forward to actually hosting get-togethers rather than always needing an invitation!

Our Gnoming Game

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 12:55:19 -0500

In honor of the movie Gnomeo and Juliet which my husband and The Older saw last weekend and thought was great, I thought I'd mention a game we have going on at our house.

I'm not sure how it started, but I believe it was when The Older was sick. About a year ago, my parents bought a set of 3 garden gnomes from Big Lots. They came over when we were not here or busy doing something and placed them around the yard in strategic places. When The Older saw them, he declared they were "magic" and had adopted us as their family.

This has grown into a great adventure for us all! Since they came to our yard, we move them during the week so he believes they are "magically moving." We do it at night so he doesn't see, and if my parents are driving by they'll stop and move them so when we look outside (or come home from where ever we are), we see that they've changed positions once again! My parents will even pick up "friends" and drop them off in the yard as well, so The Older thinks that the gnomes are telling their friends about us!

The Older is at the age now where he's starting to question the reality of what's going on, but in his heart he loves the idea of the magic so much, he's keeping the game going. In fact, he even started leaving them water to drink, so now we empty out the water so he thinks they drank it during the night.

This is what met him outside the front door the other morning when he was ready to go to school:

As you can see, they've all been loved a lot, especially the one with half his hat missing. We can't get rid of him though, because it would break The Older's heart.

Coming to a Close

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 11:22:56 -0500

I'm going downtown for a girls night. I'm pretty excited; we're going to see a show, drink wine, and eat cheese. I'm looking forward to it, especially since the last night I was out (other than with my family), was for the I Can Do It! conference in November.

Life is funny. I am so cut off from my "friends," but then I realize that it's a two-way street. I'm beginning to find myself not even missing what apparently wasn't even there to begin with, meaning that the friendships I have worked so hard to hold on too probably weren't even worth trying to salvage anyway. I have been trying to keep relationships going where I am pretty sure the other person isn't even interested in trying to remain friends, so I am now just letting it go. I'm getting busy at Ian's school, re-connecting with the good friends that I do have, and am accepting of the fact that people were in my life for whatever reason, and now it is time to let everyone move on...

Birthday Kids

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 19:19:12 -0400

Reilly's (and Ian's) birthday-at-Animal-Kingdom day was fantastic!

We got there right at opening (okay, maybe 30 minutes later), and we manged to walk by the Bug Movie at the Tree of Life with 5 minutes until the showing. I wasn't sure about taking Roo in, but the cast member told me a lot of preschoolers like it. Um, not mine! She wore the 3D glasses, and I think it was a bit much for her. She did fine in the beginning, but then climbed into my lap and hid for the majority of it.

We hit Everest after that to get a Fast Pass, but their Fast Pass was broken. The line was only 10 minutes long, so I told the boys to go ahead and go ( I had Sean go on that with Ian once I heard it spun around backwards!). They loved it; even Sean was impressed!

We then went over to Africa to pick up a Fast Pass for the Preserve ride, and then we walked through an animal area and rode the train (which, I admit, sucked). We got back from that, had a snack, and then rode the preserve ride. It was AMAZING! We saw a ton of animals up close, and even had a giraffe come right up to the bus. The topper though was the rhino and her baby who came out of the grass and was close enough for me to touch! It was so close, seriously, that I was actually scared it was going to hit us.

Lunch at the buffet was next, and we surprised the kids with cupcakes with a candle for each of them. I was going to order a cake, but I read that the restaurants will give kids a free birthday cupcake, so we went with that instead, LOL! They were thrilled, and we even got tickets for reserved seating for the Nemo show, so after that we headed over to Dino land.

I have never been so terrified. They have a ride there called Dinosaur that was so scary I almost cried. Ian "only cried a little," and he wanted to go again. I suffered through it again, but I have to tell you that it was a ride that I would NOT go on again if I have anything to say about it. It was dark and loud, and I couldn't keep my eye on my kid. That is not okay for me...

Ian decided against the show and said he would rather dig and play at the Boneyard. So, that's how we ended our day.

It was great. It was relaxing yet exciting too, and we had such a great time as a family... I can't believe how wonderful life has been treating me!!!

Planning

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 21:25:12 -0400

I forgot Ian at school today. Now that I'm home I have no excuse, other than I had no idea it was another half day, and I was working.

Life has found itself molded into a pretty great routine for now, and I am really enjoying being home with the kids. Ian tells me daily how much he "loves hanging out" with me and Roo, and he has had NO behavior issues in school at all. I love being able to play with both my kids and not be tired and frustrated all the time! I can't believe life is really and truly working out; it's even more impressive than I thought it was going to be! I wish I was more productive at work, but I'm going to get there eventually. I know I will.

The kids' birthdays are coming up too, and I'm excited for the day. It's always proven to be amazing in past years and I'm hoping I can match 2007! Ian wants a fish theme (again), so I'm going to use what was left over (yes, this is why I am a packrat) and get a few more things like a fish pinata. I'm going to handmake some stuff too, so I'm really hoping I won't kill anyone.

There's going to be 1 less person in attendance this year. It's been really, really tense around here the last few days, and I'm hoping that this person really won't show up. I'm not one for family drama, and if this person does anything to ruin the kids' day, I will have to go Jenn-Psycho on their ass. I've calmed down considerably the past few months, but there are still some things in my life where I will always have a short fuse

Everyone Is A Critic

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 18:56:02 -0400

In the course of one week I got a job, did arts and crafts with the kids every day, and got a chance to do Ian's sight words and math books with him. I got almost all the laundry done, and I even cleaned out a lot of my office room too so it looks more like and office and not a store-it-all-here room.

Friday began my formal training, and it's all done on-line. I had computer issues, and then I wasn't formally added into a chat room for official training, so I sat around almost all day wondering what was going on. I was freaking out a bit because it was like I was sitting on the edge of the very thing I have been dreaming of for 2 years, yet wasn't allowed to actually participate in it!

I got everything resolved though, so it looks like Monday will be the "real" day I start. I'm busy listening to all my training material again (there's a lot to learn on their system with regards to templates, software, and account specifics), and I'm making index cards to tape to my desk to help remind me of shortcuts on my first day.

Last night I went to see Eat Pray Love with a good friend of mine, and I wasn't too impressed. I think it was had to make a book like that "big screen" worthy, and a lot of the things I thought were important to the main characters self-discovery were either not put in the movie or were unable to be put in. I think that made the whole "experience" seem a lot less moving and amazing, yet I understand that they had to draw in "regular" people who aren't interested in the amazing outcome of mastering meditation or finding a piece of your soul you didn't even know existed. It was worth seeing though, and I plan to finish the book (I was re-reading it again before the movie came out but ran out of time), because this time around I'm getting even more out of it than the first time I read it.

Day 3 of SAHM Life

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 09:16:43 -0400

Yesterday was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I ended up not being able to do much in the morning because I needed Sean to sign a check for deposit. After going to the bank it was almost time for Roo's nap, so we just played until around 11am and I put her to bed. I called DCF and left a message for the debt recovery guy, worked on some resumes and such, and then when Roo got up I realized I had missed the return call from DCF. Called him back, left a message, and fed Roo. He called during that, so I was able to discuss some things with him while she ate.

The short version is that, even though it was all their error and we would have kept our insurance for the kids the way it was except for them telling us we qualified, we still owe them everything. There is no longer the choice to "request for compromise" unless you are in collections, or in jail (no thanks). However, we do qualify for some benefits at this point (seriously this time. Really), so they'll reduce what we get by 10% to work towards repayment. As for the the health stuff, I was told: "They can't come after you for this. It cannot hurt your credit, so if you don't want to bother paying it, don't." Erm, neither Sean or I am comfortable with this idea. I think it's been proven that we're honest people (as proven by the very honesty that got us into this mess in the first place!), so we're going to attempt a deal for about $10 a month. Granted, we'll be paying until the end of time, but so what?

Since I felt great that I had dealt with this issue like a big girl, I decided to do some sidewalk painting with Roo. Man, I wish I had my camera with me while we did this! We had so much fun, and she actually cried when we were finished with the paint. We just sat on the driveway and "talked," and she would literally take my hand an put it in the paint if I stopped for even a second. It was a terrific bonding experience!

I cooked Grape Jelly Meatballs for dinner, and I even made my own chili sauce to simmer. Martha Stuart, watch out!

Centered

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Mon, 31 May 2010 18:40:13 -0400

This weekend has been amazing! I'm sure it's because I am so much more relaxed about everything, including school. I have only 2 more tests to go, and then it's time for my final. I can't believe it! It's been a long road, but I'm finally almost done. Would I do it differently? Perhaps, but I'm pretty excited that I stuck with it and completed it all.

Friday night we were supposed to grill out, but I had the urge to go to Toys R Us and get the kids a new swing set, LOL! The best part of that was we ended up getting it even cheaper than the advertised price. Can't beat that!

On Saturday we went to the beach with my parents, and we had a blast. We got there around 8am and then had lunch by 12pm. We got stuck in a rainstorm, but it was still great. That afternoon I mowed the backyard (yes, I was allowed), and we chopped up the old swing set. We were low-key that night and I just studied.

Sunday we got up early. Sean got right to work building the swing set while Roo, Ian and I played in the front yard together. Roo ended up napping from 10am to about 1pm, so Ian went over to my parent's house to ride his bike and play. They brought him home around 5pm, so we had my parents stay for a few beers while they watched Ian and Roo tear up the backyard. It was so much fun! The kids played on the swing set, in the water table, and in their outdoor playhouse. They drew with chalk on the patio, and then it began to pour so we called it a night. I ended up studying for over 4 hours, so I got a lot done, which made me feel relaxed and accomplished.

Today we had the kids outside again, and then Roo napped while we cleaned the house and I studied a bit more. Then we headed to my in-laws house for a b-b-q where we sat on the deck and watched the river, took the boat out, and just relaxed. We just got home about 30 minutes ago, and I'm ready to hit the books again.

I feel like a new person. I really, really needed to have this time with my family...

Ho Ho Holiday

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 07:14:00 -0500

This holiday season has been amazing. I am a Christmas whore, yes, but this year it's been something special. I feel so complete and so happy, and this Christmas seems to be a time for me to reflect on all the wonderful things that I have in my life. I find myself with this bubbling excitement in my chest, and I want to spread my happiness to everyone!!

A lot of this is because of the kids. My Roo has completed my heart; the hole I had in my soul is completely filled in by her presence. And Ian, well, he is my guiding star. I love the person I am when I'm with him; he truly is something amazing and special. Sean and my relationship isn't perfect, but I love him and who he is. Our relationship is getting better, and a lot of that has to do with me and my acceptance of what is and what I cannot change.

The weekend was great, complete with going to the movies with a wonderful friend on Friday, going to the mall Saturday night followed by sushi and Four Christmases, then a trip to Brooksville to Rogers Christmas Village, making cookies with Ian, and even some studying!

I am content.

Happy Heart

Inner Ramblings of My Mind — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 17:19:39 -0500

I've had the best two days! Yesterday was the first day both kids seemed to be like their old selves, so we did Christmas crafts and made our plans of Christmas-type-stuff for the next week. I spoke to a friend of mine I have spoken to in FOREVER, and it made me so happy to talk to her! I even got to study, and I slept better than I have in days since Roo didn't have any coughing fits at night.

Today I had a meeting at work, saw 3 clients, and then met my good friend to see New Moon again for the 3rd time. We had a fantastic time, laughing and joking the whole time, and now I'm getting ready to go shopping with my Mom (I'll be window shopping for the time being, seeing as our account is once again in the double digits).

I couldn't ask for more.