This holiday season has been amazing. I am a Christmas whore, yes, but this year it's been something special. I feel so complete and so happy, and this Christmas seems to be a time for me to reflect on all the wonderful things that I have in my life. I find myself with this bubbling excitement in my chest, and I want to spread my happiness to everyone!!

A lot of this is because of the kids. My Roo has completed my heart; the hole I had in my soul is completely filled in by her presence. And Ian, well, he is my guiding star. I love the person I am when I'm with him; he truly is something amazing and special. Sean and my relationship isn't perfect, but I love him and who he is. Our relationship is getting better, and a lot of that has to do with me and my acceptance of what is and what I cannot change.

The weekend was great, complete with going to the movies with a wonderful friend on Friday, going to the mall Saturday night followed by sushi and Four Christmases, then a trip to Brooksville to Rogers Christmas Village, making cookies with Ian, and even some studying!

I am content.

I've had the best two days! Yesterday was the first day both kids seemed to be like their old selves, so we did Christmas crafts and made our plans of Christmas-type-stuff for the next week. I spoke to a friend of mine I have spoken to in FOREVER, and it made me so happy to talk to her! I even got to study, and I slept better than I have in days since Roo didn't have any coughing fits at night.

Today I had a meeting at work, saw 3 clients, and then met my good friend to see New Moon again for the 3rd time. We had a fantastic time, laughing and joking the whole time, and now I'm getting ready to go shopping with my Mom (I'll be window shopping for the time being, seeing as our account is once again in the double digits).

I couldn't ask for more.

I'm not ready for Monday. This has been the best couple of days, and I don't want the weekend to end.

Friday I had a late lunch with a friend/coworker when we were done seeing clients in the jail. From there I picked Ian up from Tae Kwon Do early because I was supposed to be going with a friend of mine to see New Moon again. She ended up not being able to go, so when Sean got home we watched another Christmas movie together. Roo went to bed early, so we ended up playing games and doing some Christmas crafts.

Saturday Sean had plans for a few hours, so the kids and I went shopping at BJs with my mother. We got back around noon, and Sean was home again by that time. Roo napped and I studied, then we went to get something to eat. We were going to go to the boat parade in St. Petersburg, but Roo wasn't doing too well, so we just came home and watched another Christmas movie. Both kids went to bed early, so Sean and I wrapped presents and watched Santa Clause 3 together.

Today Sean and Ian went out for the morning while I stayed home. I cleaned out Ian's room, put away about 5 loads of laundry, went through Roo's toys, cleaned out part of her room and the laundry room, and by that time Ian and Sean were back home. Both kids had lunch, then a tubbie, and now Roo is napping off a fever (hopefully), Sean's in bed, and Ian and I are getting ready for our "Christmas Eve Lite" at my parents. Since my brother and his family are going up North for the holidays, we're going to have our annual celebration a little early this year. Food, family, kids, gifts, laughter, love... Who could ask for more?!

I have about 30 seconds to write because I'm about to pass out, so this entry will be short.

Got up at 6:30am with Roo. We had breakfast together, then I ironed Ian's Tea Kwon Do outfit for his testing today. Ian got up around 8am so I got him breakfast. Right when he finished we took Roo over to my mom's house, then we got back here to pack his bag for the day. We then left to get Sean, and then we had to drive to South Tampa for Ian's exhibition/test.

Ian did great! They had a bunch of different belts there so there was a lot to see, including the Sensi and an amazing leap into the air to break a board being held by two guys on the shoulders of two other guys. Ian was at a disadvantage a bit because the student next to him kept missing their turns and such so it threw him off, but he got his stripe anyway. He is so proud, because he got to break a board twice.

We had enough time after that to drop Sean back at work, pick up Roo, then get back home so I could dress them both in layers for Sean's business party. They threw a big bar-b-que with so much food I thought they were feeding the neighborhood! It was great though. About 50 people showed up, the kids were well behaved, and I got to see a bunch of people I haven't seen in, well, a year! (This year I was smart and got a couple phone numbers of the couples I get along well with, so after the holidays we'll have some more people to hang out with.) We left there around 10pm, and both kids are now snuggly in their beds.

I can't wait to slip into bed myself. It's flippen cold out there!

Not a lot has been been going on the past few days, and I like it like that. I was sick most of the weekend so I didn't do much but laze around, but on Sunday the kids and I put up the tree. Monday night Ian and Sean decorated the lawn, and all I can is that that Jeff Foxworthy should come and do a skit about our house. Four of the 5 things out there don't light up more than halfway. It's lovely.

I can't wait for Christmas! I love the holidays anyway (as most people know because I listen to Christmas music all year round), but this year is going to be different. My brother and SIL won't be here for our traditional Christmas Eve, and the people at my MILs house is going to be few this year for Christmas day, so it should be quiet. I don't mind though, because this year I feel totally different so the quiet should suit me fine.

During the past few months I've realized how few friends I really have because I decided to let the word "friend" mean something more to me than in the past, and I've also stopped trying to make excuses for people and thus feeling badly that I didn't "measure up" to whatever deserved their time and attention. Because of the change in my thinking I have, in essence, freed myself from feeling less-than-worthy and thinking that there was something lacking in me as a person. With that came a great calm and a fullness in my heart, and an even greater appreciation for the true friends and the family I have. I have a lot to be thankful for, and I can't think of a greater time to have come to this honest and amazing realization than around the holidays!