I am so in love with my life right now. I am spending the days with the kids, we eat together as a family at night, and then around 7pm (after the kids are in bed), I work. I work while Roo naps too, so I get in about 5-6 hours a day. I'm not making a lot of money, but I am so happy it doesn't matter.

Today was one of those days. I got up early, had some coffee, and worked a bit. Ian got up and got himself ready for school, and then I woke Roo up so we could take him. I came home, finished up the report I was working on, and then Roo and I played outside in the gorgeous weather. The whole time I kept thinking, "Wow. This is amazing. I have no stress, I get to see all the little things that Roo does, and then I get to be the one picking Ian up from school. I get to have the whole day with my kids!"

I couldn't be happier with the choice I made. I only wish that I had made it sooner!

I can't get over how much Ian has accomplished this summer. When I think about how broken his spirit was last year, I am touched to the point of breathlessness with how at peace he seems now.

He's learned how to swim, so no more life jacket for him. He has been signed up for baseball now, and hopefully will have a sport that he loves to do. He started first grade, and so far has adjusted very, very well in class, even with the presence of a very real "issue" from last year. He is playing so well with Roo that it warms my heart every day, and he's appointed himself her "keeper" in a lot of ways. Just this morning, I got out of bed at 7 am to find him up, dressed, teeth brushed, and snack packed and put in his backpack; I found him sitting on the chair in his room waiting for me to get up.

I can't get over how much can change in just a few short months. However, I do find myself cringing every now and again at how fast it all seems to be going...

I love my new job. Love it, love it, LOVE IT! It's better than I could have ever imagined. I'm spending time with the kids, doing fun things with them because I'm not constantly tired and frustrated, and I am actually enjoying my life again! I don't feel panic every morning, I don't feel closed in, and I am starting to see things in a way that is different than I have been.

I'm trying to find a routine that works for us all, and it's going to take some tweaking. So far I have the basics (dropping Ian off at school, feeding Roo, working through nap, feeding Roo again, picking up Ian), but there are some other things I need to adjust and set to a schedule. I'm trying to stay flexible because there's such a learning curve with this job. I figure if I spend a month or so with my nose to the grindstone and focus really hard, I should be able to work on my social life again... If I decide I want to, that is. I'm pretty happy being home and focusing on my family and 2 or 3 good friends...