What a fabulous day! My parents ended up tagging along and we all sat around talking, laughing, and discussing an interesting business deal(s) while Ian played his heart out. We even went to the "other side" of the beach where the Gulf comes in and played in the waves (The part of Fort DeSoto Beach we go to is divided by an enormous tide pool so that's where Ian plays and swims because it's not too deep and there's no current) and we had a great time!

I did, however, learn something important: When on a blood thinner, you  need to avoid sun exposure.  Even if you're only in it for a nanosecond while you set up a tent to be sure you have shade from said exposure, and then in the ocean for 10 minutes where you just can't avoid the burning star, you will get severely burned. So much so, that you can't stand to wear clothes because the pressure on your skin in unbearable. Then, of course, you have the nausea that comes along with sunburn, the extreme thirst... Blech. Driving home from the beach I couldn't even have Sean's arm resting near mine because the dual heat from our arms (yes, he burned too but he's an idiot, more so than I am) were like the negative sides of magnets placed together. I thought we were going to combust!

When we got home without anyone catching fire I wanted to nap but couldn't because that would have meant laying on the bed and I seriously think the friction of the sheets would have killed me, so I took a shower instead. After a few tears when the water hit my skin I was able to finally ease my way in, but I couldn't stand too close to the tiles because the glow of the burn reflecting of the white hurt my eyes. Then there was the issue of shaving my legs... I won't go in to detail, but picture raw skin and a rusty knife and you get the idea.

I also hit another milestone of pregnancy today: I can no long see my feet when I'm in the shower.

I just ate some of the best blueberry pancakes in the world. I don't know if they tasted so good because Ian and I made them together, or if it's because they were made from the blueberries we picked last weekend and the farm has exceptionally good berries, or if it's because we sat at the table together and ate them and laughed the whole time, but they truly were the best pancakes I've ever had.

Today we got up early, had breakfast, and then went to Adventure Island for the first time this season. We had a blast! We got there right at 9am and went directly to the Rambling Bayou where we floated for over an hour. The only problem was that I spent the majority of the time kneeling, so now my knees are rubbed raw and it looks like Sean and I were doing "inappropriate" things in the water, LOL! After we were done floating we went to Ian's favorite past time, Fabian's Funport. After he had his fill there we went to the wave pool, and then the Lagoon. All in all, I think we were there over 3 hours!

After that we came home and, what else, took a nap until about 3pm. Now Sean's as the grocery store for me because I'm having some back pains, and Ian and I are hanging out on the couch watching a stimulating episode of Max and Ruby.

It feels like a Sunday to me!

I never realized what a lonely disease cancer is. I mean, any terminal illness must give one a sense of being alone, but the more I hear my mother talk about what's going on with her I feel more and more that I can't do any more than be there to listen.

Last night I brought her with me to Michael's so I could pick up some beads for my special orders, and she discussed the medication/chemo schedule with me. Unfortunately, due to her (our) clotting disorder, she's going to have to take some chemo medications that are "unfriendly" to the cardiovascular system. Did I ever mention that she sees a cardiologist for her heart condition? I guess, weighing the two evils, the clotting disorder beat out the heart condition. She'll be going on Tuesday for her first six hour chemo session, and then the day after she goes for a shot that is supposed to raise her white blood cell count. She'll continue that regime for 6-8 weeks, and then the sessions will reduce to two hours.

It's like some sort of hell day camp or something. "Bring a lunch or a snack, you'll have a TV so you can relax, blah, blah blah," What a load of shit.

Couple that with the wig fitting sessions, make up session for when she loses her eyebrows and eyelashes, how to fit the prosthetic breast and what clothes look the best, the support gropus... It just sucks.

She, of course, is looking on the bright side of it all. She even said, "Maybe the reason this happened to me was so that you would be diagnosed and save this pregnancy!" What a silver lining, and for all I know it could be true! But, for now, all I know is that I'm helpless. I can't even hold a discussion with her because I can't fathom how she's feeling. I can't begin to understand how someone deals with the constant thought that their life could be moving toward the "end", that they may have to prepare themselves to say good-bye to everything they've knows, the worry for the people left behind.

Am I crazy? Ian should be starting the EELPS Program in August and I'm freaking out already. I know he'll adjust and that he needs the speech therapy, but I'm stressing about the stupid things like, do I walk him to class in the morning or do the teachers? Do I pack his lunch and, if not, how can I be sure he gets a healthy lunch? What about nap time? What about the days I have to drop him off at 7:30am- how will he know what to do and where to go? What about.... What about... I also want to schedule a time for him to see the class. I don't even know if they allow that, and if they do I sure am cutting it close...

I'm also going to miss his testing for his yellow belt. They're having the test at 11:30am at his school and, as luck would have it, I have to be at a probation hearing for one of my clients. Figures that it would be this date out of allll the dates in May.... *sigh*