My mom called me yesterday to say that they wouldn't do her chemo treatment. They tested her blood and her hemoglobin was "way too low" to subject her body to the medication. So, now she has to go to the hospital today for a blood infusion. The upside is that her white blood cell count went up to a normal range (from .3!!!) and that they promised her she'd feel better after she received the red blood cells today.

So, the projected outlook of her finish date has changed from Halloween to Thanksgiving. But, that's still pretty good considering she only had surgery the beginning of the year!

I told her to let me know if she didn't think she could take the baby when she comes, but she is determined not to let this little one go to daycare so young. I admit I was thrilled to hear it because having her go to childcare would mean me taking Ian to school by 7:30am, driving 12 miles to baby's daycare (there's only one place I'd ever take her), another 13 miles to work, then bust my ass to drive 15 miles to get back here to get Ian around 2pm, then drive 12 miles to pick up baby, then turn around and drive another 12 miles home. Somehow the math just doesn't add up there!

Anyway: Today is my ultrasound to check the cyst on my little girl's brain. Scared? You bet! I'm going alone, so I'll have plenty of time to stew in my own fear, LOL! I'm also getting my Gestational Diabetes Test done which, I have been assured, I'm going to fail due to using Lovenox. Not a big deal to me, really. I mean, I'd be upset because of the harm it can cause Bug, but one more needle won't matter to me.

*****Edited to Add: Because I'm a geek, I did the math on my commute. Yearly, I would put 16,900 miles on my car. My car goes about 22 miles to the gallon, so if my math is correct (and, let's be honest here; I operate at a 3rd grade math level due to dyslexia) and gas stays at $4 a gallon (HA!) I would be spending over 3 grand in gas a year! And that's just for work and childcare, let alone if I ever want to take the damn car anywhere else in life. Add that to Bug's daycare, and it would total over 12 grand. Add that to "wear and tear" and we're looking at 14 grand. So, basically I'd be working for our health insurance. Wow, isn't that motivation?! *****

Another week has flown by!

I am almost done with my class at Church. I can't believe it! I learned so much about myself and about other people, and I learned a lot about different situations in my life. I've learned how to be more positive, how to step away from negativity, and how to recognize there is no fault in certain situations; they are the way they are for the very reason they should be. I've learned how to meditate successfully, how to construct and deliver strong Treatments for people, and how to take control of my own emotions.

I wish I could take the next class too, but it's on Thursdays. Sean has dinner with his Dad every Thursday night and, although he's been taking him every other week, I don't want to ask him to take him every week. I know he needs time to mend fences with his Dad, and my Mom won't be able to commit to taking Ian once she starts chemotherapy. It's OK though- I plan to continue studying on my own.

The countdown is on- six more days until the big day! Once it's over I'll be able to better plan my life and where I'm going... I'm just holding on until then!

I slept most of the day away. I got up at 8am after going to bed at 9pm last night, then went back to bed at 2pm. I got up at 5:30pm and went to get my mom so we could go to the gym. The gym was closed (why on earth do they close at 6pm?) so we decided to walk around her neighborhood.

I'm so glad we did because I was able to climb out of my own situation and hear her feelings on what she's going through. I am so impressed with her positive outlook and her concrete knowledge that she is going to live. She is convinced that she is going to beat this and that she's going to come out of the chemotherapy just that much stronger emotionally. On that mile walk I felt like I was getting a look into my mother's soul and I felt like I was hearing a lesson that I needed to hear.

I am so glad that she's coming to Church with me regularly and I think I may even get to convince her to take a class when she finishes with the surgery and chemo/radiation. I know that the philosophy they teach is helping her through this journey and I am so grateful that I could help lead her to where she needed to be. What a blessing for a daughter to help their mother grow spiritually! I think of how many times my mom helped me learn, helped me to grow, and for me to be able to turn around and help her is a gift greater than I ever could have imagined.  

My hiatus from the computer was fantastic. It's always nice to regroup away from this thing and remember what's important in life!

I had an awesome time at my Girl's Night Out on Friday. I picked up two friends and we hit the Green Iguana to meet up with some more mom's, only to discover that we were at the wrong GI! We talked about leaving, but we were having a great time so we hung out for a bit. Then we decided to try O'Brian's since I've always wanted to go there and it is in our neighborhood... It's great! We had such a good time there! It's comfortable and there are no hoochie-mamas and guys scamming (for the most part, LOL!), you can sit inside with the live band or outside where, as Peggy so nicely put, "Irish meets Tiki Hut." I'm pretty sure it's going to be a regular spot for us.

Saturday was Ian's football game (they won) and then Ian, me, my mom and dad, Dave, Krissy, and the kids, all went to Palm Harbor for the Touch-a-Truck event. It was great! Ian had a blast climbing all over the big trucks and playing on the playground, and I had a good time hanging out with my family. Ian and I napped when we got back home, and then Saturday night we watched movies.

Sunday I got up early and Sean and I lazed around until Ian got up. I went to Church and, surprisingly, Sean and Ian cleaned the whole house while I was gone! When I got back we went to eat lunch, then napped until it was time to watch the Superbowl.

Monday I kept Ian home because, well, I didn't feel like driving all the way to his school. We hung out and did his workbooks, then my mom came by and we took a picnic lunch to the park. It was great to just hang out and be with them!

Tuesday I was sick and spent the day in bed, but then felt OK by mid-afternoon after I got the call I've been waiting for these past weeks! I will be starting work on Monday (I got to choose between Monday and Thursday so I had to do some quick thinking!), so I turned on my computer and did some on-line research on couches. I found one I liked and, that night, we bought the couch and some end tables/coffee table. I didn't mean to buy them, but I decided since we're done having kids I should treat myself to some furniture that's decent!

We got the sofa in a rich brown color, not this tan thing. It's great because it reclines, but the lever is under the arm rest so there isn't that stupid wood bar on the outside of the sofa.

These tables are great! They have slate on the top and the brown is really brought out by the couch. I'm changing the motif of the house so I'm hoping these are a good start.

Today we had the observation of the ELPs class. It's a great program but I think Ian is a bit advanced for it. I think we're going to keep Ian where he is and request the speech therapist go to his school, then we'll revisit it in August. There are a lot of reasons why, but I'll get in to it more tomorrow. Right now I'm going to bed!

Ian's game was yesterday and he had a good time. It was a double-header and at the end he lost interest, but with coaxing he was able to finish. He subs a lot (LOL!) but the coach does a great job of making sure every kid gets to play every position and no one kid stays on the sideline for too long. Ian even got to run the ball once and, as Sean said, it was a true Mike Alstott move up the middle and over two other kids!

After the game(s) we all came home and had family nap time until around 3:30pm. We got up and played a board game with Ian and then got ready to go out. My parents got us tickets to see The Pirates of Penzance so we had dinner at The Crazy Buffet and then headed downtown. We got home late and I did some homework, then I passed out until 8:30am!

I was supposed to go to Church today but I decided that I wanted to slum it; I went to the gym and then had lunch with my guys afterward. Now I'm just waiting for Sean to get home and we're going to watch the Patriots game. Yay!!!!!!