I love my new job. Love it, love it, LOVE IT! It's better than I could have ever imagined. I'm spending time with the kids, doing fun things with them because I'm not constantly tired and frustrated, and I am actually enjoying my life again! I don't feel panic every morning, I don't feel closed in, and I am starting to see things in a way that is different than I have been.

I'm trying to find a routine that works for us all, and it's going to take some tweaking. So far I have the basics (dropping Ian off at school, feeding Roo, working through nap, feeding Roo again, picking up Ian), but there are some other things I need to adjust and set to a schedule. I'm trying to stay flexible because there's such a learning curve with this job. I figure if I spend a month or so with my nose to the grindstone and focus really hard, I should be able to work on my social life again... If I decide I want to, that is. I'm pretty happy being home and focusing on my family and 2 or 3 good friends...

In the course of one week I got a job, did arts and crafts with the kids every day, and got a chance to do Ian's sight words and math books with him. I got almost all the laundry done, and I even cleaned out a lot of my office room too so it looks more like and office and not a store-it-all-here room.

Friday began my formal training, and it's all done on-line. I had computer issues, and then I wasn't formally added into a chat room for official training, so I sat around almost all day wondering what was going on. I was freaking out a bit because it was like I was sitting on the edge of the very thing I have been dreaming of for 2 years, yet wasn't allowed to actually participate in it!

I got everything resolved though, so it looks like Monday will be the "real" day I start. I'm busy listening to all my training material again (there's a lot to learn on their system with regards to templates, software, and account specifics), and I'm making index cards to tape to my desk to help remind me of shortcuts on my first day.

Last night I went to see Eat Pray Love with a good friend of mine, and I wasn't too impressed. I think it was had to make a book like that "big screen" worthy, and a lot of the things I thought were important to the main characters self-discovery were either not put in the movie or were unable to be put in. I think that made the whole "experience" seem a lot less moving and amazing, yet I understand that they had to draw in "regular" people who aren't interested in the amazing outcome of mastering meditation or finding a piece of your soul you didn't even know existed. It was worth seeing though, and I plan to finish the book (I was re-reading it again before the movie came out but ran out of time), because this time around I'm getting even more out of it than the first time I read it.

I am so happy to be up and running again! I've missed my blogging outlet, that's for sure. I had to cut myself off for a month to finish school, quit my job, and start job searching again... A lot can happen in a month!

So much to catch up on, but I'll just say that I graduated with a 95% for a GPA, which was my goal.

My last day of work was yesterday, and I found a a whole bunch of less-than-charming information about a coworker of mine. She's the one I had issues with when I first started, but I didn't realize what a snake she truly was until yesterday. She obviously has a charred, black heart, and a soul that is destined for vile payback. I was going to lay it all out for my other co-workers who I met up with last night, but I decided not to. I have come a long way from gossip and the desire to create drama, so I didn't want to do something out of anger versus "the right reason." I made one comment along the lines of, "I found out that people on our Team we thought we could trust, we can't," and left it at that. Considering I was hanging out with 2 of the 3 people from our 4-person Team, I think they're bright enough to figure out what and who I meant. If they chose to continue to trust her, that's their problem. They'll figure it out, because someone with such an ugly purpose and disgusting way of living their life is destined for failure. I can only hope that I get to hear about it when it happens! On the flip side of that, I found out that a few of her less desirable character traits have not gone unnoticed by others who are higher up, and that makes me happy.

I've been neglecting my poor blog, but it's all for a good cause; I'm almost done with my certificate! I have only the final left to complete, and then I'm ready to start searching for jobs. I'm terrified, and my biggest problem is that I'm not sure exactly what I want to do and when I want to do it. I really wanted a relaxed schedule were I could "pick and choose" when I was going to work, but the more I investigate it doesn't seem like that's going to be a reality for a while. I don't mind working to get to that point, but I'm just not sure how I want to arrange my time to suit my family best.

Blah.

I had lunch with one of my best friends yesterday. I got some much needed laughs, was able to vent, and was able to get out of 'myself' long enough to feel refreshed and happy again.

Then, I went to a work meeting and all that changed. The negativity, the toxic environment, the nasty things said about other people... I felt completely guilty, deflated, and sickened by the time I left.

I've manged to turn myself back around today though. We spent a nice morning with the kids, and Sean brought home a Firetruck for Ian's 6th birthday last night. He was SO excited when he drove in with the lights on and everything- it was adorable! Today he took Ian for a ride over to my brother's house, and all the kids played on it for a while. Now we're home, Roo is napping, and then we're going to hit the store for the birthday part food. It's going to be a great day, and I'm looking forward to friends, food, and laughter tomorrow at the park!